Christmas

Though it doesn't necessarily feel like it here in Costa Rica, Christmas is quickly approaching and I have been pondering the meaning of this season. 

This Christmas season has been rather diferent for me than in the past, as I am not at home with my family. Yesterday, Sydnie and I found an artificial tree in the storage room at church and put it in our apartment. We went to a nearby gift shop and bought some decorations, and now our apartment is all decorated for Christmas! Honestly, I was starting to think that I wouldn't have a tree this year. I know that Christmas isn't about trees and decorations, but even for those simple things I am really thankful. 

As we all know, though, Christmas is really all about Jesus. Christmas is about God in His love sending His Son to be our Savior. Christmas is about Jesus, coming as a humble babe and saving mankind. Thus, Christmas is about hope. 

Before the foundation of the world, God knew that we would desperately need a Savior, He knew that left on our own we are hopeless and need Someone in whom we can hope. There is a quote that I absolutely love: "If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator; if our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist; if our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist; if our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer; but our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior." I am so thankful that God, even before creation, knew of my need for forgiveness and made that forgiveness possible through Jesus. 

One of my favorite Christmas songs this year has been "Oh Come All Ye Faithful":

"O' come all ye faithful

Joyful and triumphant

O' come ye, O' come ye

To Bethlehem

Come and behold Him

Born the King of Angels

O' come let us adore Him

O' come let us adore Him

O' come let us adore Him

Christ the Lord"

I have been thinking, what must have the shepherds thought and felt when they went and beheld Jesus, the baby lying in the manger? These shepherds beheld with their own eyes the One whom had come to save them. What joy must have filled their hearts, what hope must have stirred within them! At the same time, I am sure they must have felt amazement and wonder as their Savior came in the humblest of ways one could have come. 

Read with me this passage from Luke 2:8-20:

"And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. And the angel said to them, 'Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you; you will find a Baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among those with whom He is pleased!' When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.' And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the Baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning the Child." 

Notice that it was said to the shepherds that the angel brought good news of great joy which will be for ALL people. This stands out to me so much, as I ponder the good news of Jesus, and how He came to save ALL people. This makes me want to share the good news of Jesus with others, as my heart breaks for those that don't know Jesus.

Something else I would like to point out is that once the shepherds went and saw Jesus, "they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this Child". The shepherd's didn't just keep this good news of great joy to themselves. No, instead they made known the good news of Jesus! Are we like the shepherds in this way? Or do we keep Jesus to ourselves? 

Jesus came to save a hopeless and dying world. There is life and so much hope in Jesus. Sadly, our world today seems like it looks much like it would have looked like before Jesus came... dying and hopeless. My heart breaks because of the recent shootings that have happened - there certainly doesn't seem to be much joy and peace in this world. I can't even begin to imagine the pain of the families affected, and it makes me want to be at home with my family. I don't have any answers to all the questions, but one thing I know is that this world desperately needs hope. This world desperately needs joy and peace. This world desperately needs Jesus. 

Though it may be extremely depressing with all the events happening today, we can have hope in Jesus, and, yes, even joy. The world is in a sad state, yes, but there is comfort and joy to be found in Jesus. May we be filled with hope and joy this Christmas season as we look to Jesus who came to be our Savior. May we come, behold, and adore Him, the King of Kings who came to save.

May we share this good news of great joy with our family and friends.

“If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. If you look within, you'll be depressed. If you look at God you'll be at rest.”  ~Corrie Ten Boom

Costa Rica Update

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you all so very much for continuing to pray for me and encourage me as I am here in Costa Rica! You all bless me tremendously.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to be here serving the Lord and His children. These past few weeks have been challenging, and yet I am learning to be thankful in all circumstances. I'm learning it is easy for me to say that I am thankful, but it is another thing to actually live a life of thanksgiving. Especially with Thanksgiving quickly approaching, the subject of thankfulness has been one that has been on my mind a lot. I am so thankful for my Mom, because there will be times that I text her and tell her the struggles I am going through, and she reminds me to be thankful and that God is good. 

This will be the first Thanksgiving that I am away from home, and it is hard not being there. Even though I’m going to miss spending that day with my family, I still have much for which to be thankful!

The PFK program has been continuing to go well, praise the Lord. We actually just have two more weeks left of it and then we won't have it for two months because the kids have their break from school. I am sad that the program will be ending for two months, but I guess this will just cause us to look for more ministry opportunities and other ways we can reach the children outside of the program. Please be praying for us as we end the program. Please pray that the children would continue to be fed by the Word, and that we would be able to keep in touch with them on a regular basis. Please also pray for wisdom for us as we look for other ministry opportunities.

There is a song by Audrey Assad called “Lament” and lately I feel as though I really relate to it. Some of the lyrics go like this:

“I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time;

I'm sitting at His feet and yet I'm dying to be recognized.

I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied.

Why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes?”

These lyrics describe so well how I have been feeling lately. I have been finding it so hard for me to rest, feeling as though there is always something that I should be doing. I have been loving my time I spend with the Lord, but even then I easily get distracted by what I feel I should get done next. Please pray for me that I would be faithful to do what needs to be done, but that I would always rest in the Lord and not take burdens upon myself which He never meant for me to bear.

I would appreciate continued prayer that I would pick up more Spanish. I need to start taking time to study it. Cory was telling me that if I start studying for even just ten minutes a day that would probably help a lot because I am also constantly around people speaking in Spanish. I am starting to pick up on things, and I definitely know more than when I first arrived here, but still not that much.

I have found that I love early mornings here. I love to get up, get my coffee, go sit outside, and do my devotions. Around 6AM it actually feels fairly cool outside, and so I love going outside at this time. Most of all, it is really good to have this quiet time with the Lord before the day begins. Recently, the Lord greatly encouraged me through His Word. I have been reading in Matthew, and I got to chapter 14 where Jesus fed the 5,000. This section stood out to me in a powerful way. When Jesus told the disciples to give the crowd something to eat, they said, “We have only five loaves and two fish” (vs. 17). The disciples felt that they didn’t have enough to minister to the people, but Jesus said, “Bring them here to Me” (vs. 18), and He had the people sit down, gave thanks, broke the bread, and the disciples gave the food to the people. The people all ate and were satisfied. I had read this story before, and heard it many times, but suddenly it meant so much more to me. On my own I am inadequate, and so often in ministry I feel inadequate and worthless. The wonderful truth of the matter is that if I surrender myself to Jesus, as little as I may feel I am, He can use me effectively in ministry because it is Him and not me. My adequacy is not in myself, but in Jesus, my strength is not in myself, but in Jesus. The disciples felt they didn’t have enough to give to the people, yet Jesus asked only that they surrendered what they had to Him and He took care of the rest. In the same way, though I so often feel like I’m not adequate enough to minister to people, Jesus asks me to surrender all that I am to Him and to trust Him to use me. He alone is able to meet the needs of people, and I am simply a tool in His hand. Though I come to Him empty handed, He is so faithful to give me what I need to minister. It is all about Jesus, and nothing about me.

I want to again thank you all so much for praying for me. I’m blessed to be able to serve such a faithful and loving God. Even though things can be hard, God remains on the throne and in control.

Costa Rica Update: Week 3

Hi Everyone!

I want to thank you all so very much for all your continued prayers and encouragement while I am here in Costa Rica. It really means so much to me. I am so blessed to have the wonderful support and love of you all back home. 

This past week here in Costa Rica was a good one. There were some challenges, but I'm learning how thankful I am even for the challenges in life because it causes me to depend more on Jesus.

I'm continuing to love our time with the children during the week. It is such a joy to spend time with them. I still would appreciate prayers that I would learn more Spanish, because I really wish that I could communicate with these children more. I'm so thankful though that I am able to still love them and have fun with them. On Thursday at Kid's Club I played soccer (they call it football here) with a couple of the boys, and I had so much fun with them! 

There is one boy who comes to PFK, Gustavo, who has completely stolen my heart. I think he is 8 years old - he is so cute! He is such a troublemaker! It's almost as if he lives to antagonize the other children. This last week he went to use the utility sink outside, and I realized that there was a machete right next to him. I went and grabbed it and put it inside the office because Gustavo + machete = bad news. :) He is such a little rascal, but for some reason or another he always brightens my day and makes me so thankful to be here. Please be praying for him. Please pray that he would have an obedient heart and that he would know how much Jesus loves him. 

Tuesday evening we had an earthquake here - I heard it was a 6.6 - it was freaky! Sydnie and I were doing dishes at the church when it happened. I actually heard the rumbling and thought it was just a big truck driving by or something. Then, all of a sudden, there was a lot of shaking and Tandrian said, "That's an earthquake!" The look on her face scared me, and I didn't know what to do. I went running outside, not knowing what the heck I'm even supposed to do or where I'm supposed to go during an earthquake. Thankfully it was very short lived. It is such a weird feeling to have the ground beneath you moving! It scares me, but I know that I will most likely experience more while I am here. I find myself thinking about earthquakes a lot during the day, and even at night, being super paranoid about one happening. When I was talking to Tandrian about earthquakes, I said something about me not minding earthquakes as long I knew the result of it beforehand. She reminded me that that wouldn't be living by faith, to which I replied "Sometimes I don't like faith." I was partly joking, but that is honestly how I feel at times. I know that isn't exactly the right attitude to have, but honestly sometimes faith is hard. I'm not talking just about in earthquakes, but even about in life in general. Sometimes it is really hard to trust Jesus in the midst of the trials and struggles of life, and sometimes I am just like the man who cried out to Jesus in Mark 9:24 - "I believe; help my unbelief!" I'm so thankful that Jesus is patient with me. Oh for grace to trust Him more!

On Wednesday Cory, Tandrian, Betty, Sydnie and I went to the beach really early to do devotions there. This will be something we do once a month. It was raining a lot, and so we ended up going into a restaurant and did devotions there. It was a really good time together... we read Psalm 145 and then each shared on a few verses. 

Thursday morning Matt, Brooke, Ethan, Isabelle, and Audrey left to go back to the states. It was sad to see them leave, but I'm so thankful for the time we had with them here. Betty also left us on Thursday morning, and is now back in Montana for a bit before she goes back to Uganda. I'm learning more and more that life is full of goodbyes, especially when following Jesus. Goodbyes are hard, but there will one day be a day when all believers are together forever in Heaven and there will never again be anymore goodbyes. Also on Thursday morning I was able to talk to my Mom. I told her some of the struggles I have been having and she encouraged me. Later she texted me saying "Iron sharpens iron...say and do all things with love and a humble heart."  I wrote this down and put it on our refrigerator door. I'm so thankful for her encouragement!

On Friday I once again did a lot of laundry. I had determined not to wash so many clothes at once, but much to my dismay, I found that almost all my clothes that I had washed the previous week smelled because they did not dry fast enough. Needless to say, I was very frustrated by this, but this is just one of the little challenges we face here. I'm looking forward to dry season because clothes will dry so much faster then. I know it will get incredibly hot, but I think I honestly would rather have heat over humidity. Cory, Tandrian, Sydnie, and I talked about possibly seeing if we can get a washing machine at a used appliance place. We could all chip in for it and hook it up on our porch. It would save much time, and also would wring out our clothes really well, which would help speed up the drying process. We will see though, on whether or not we will be able to find a cheap and reliable one. 

This week I've been struggling with feeling as though I can't really do anything besides cleaning. During our time at the church, Sydnie and Tandrian will practice singing and playing guitar, or sometimes translate sponsors' letters to the children, but since I'm not gifted musically and can't speak Spanish, I just clean and organize at the church. I know that that is serving the Lord as well, but sometimes it is hard and I struggle feeling as though I'm not really gifted. I talked to my Mom about this and she encouraged me that maybe I should start taking part in worship practice because even though I don't feel that that is my gift, it would help me learn songs in Spanish. Pastor Phil also said that he would like me to type up new music sheets on Thursday evenings during worship practice, and so it will be good to serve in that area as well. Don't get me wrong, I love cleaning, but sometimes I feel like that's all I'm capable of doing which discourages me, but I know that this is just a lie from the enemy. Jesus created me how I am and I can live knowing that He created me just as I am to be used for His glory.

I would also appreciate your prayers as I have been struggling lately feeling that my time in the Word is dry and I really want to feel the presence of the Lord in my life. I know that I need to keep seeking His face regardless of how I feel, and that I need to still trust in His promises even when it's hard. 

This past week has been a crazy one for my family back at home. Please be praying for them. A week ago this last Friday my Grandpa was hospitalized because he had a really bad lung infection. I think it was Thursday that he was able to come home, and is getting better, praise the Lord. I was able to talk to my parents yesterday (I can call them for free using an app on my phone) and found out that my Mom went to the hospital on Friday. She kept fainting, and my Dad said she was unresponsive and he called an ambulance. They think she was just really dehydrated since once they started giving her fluids she started getting better. Dehydration and stress probably made her sick - because like I said my Grandpa was in the hospital and so that had added a lot of stress to her. Please be praying for complete healing for my Mom as well as for my Grandpa.

Thank you all again so much for all your prayers and encouragement. I love you all and you are all such a blessing to me.

Week 2: Costa Rica

It was another good week here in Costa Rica!

I'm loving our time at Potter's Field Kids Monday-Wednesday, as well as Kids club which is on Thursdays. Though I still can hardly speak Spanish, I love my time with those kids. Last Monday Tandrian and I taught the English class - we played Simon Says which was a blast. I would give the command in English, and then would demonstrate what I just said (example: clap your hands). Eventually, I would just give them the command without doing the motion and they would remember what it meant. I am so blessed to be able to be here and spend this time with the children.

On Monday afternoons those of us who do PFK meet together to talk and pray before we begin the new week. Last week Don Victor, who is on staff for Potter's Field here in Costa Rica, asked us why we came to Costa Rica. I said (with Tandrian translating since I don't speak Spanish and he doesn't speak English) that I came because I have a heart for missions and kids, and I want to love on the kids.  He encouraged me that I can show love for them even if I can't speak their language - I can show them through my actions. He used as an example a little girl that had come to Kids Club the previous Thursday. I couldn't have a conversation with her, but I held her on my lap during club. He said that that is an example of me being able to love through my actions. He said that she is a little girl who comes from a poor family and she needs a lot of love. God is so, so good for allowing me to be here. I'm so thankful for His grace which allows me to serve Him by serving others. I want to be His hands and His feet. I want to love these kids with the love with which He has loved me.

We've had the power go out a few times this last week. It doesn't stay out for very long, and so it really isn't a big deal. I think it was a week ago last night that it went out for the first time since we'd been here. I was actually already asleep, but I awoke to Sydnie shaking me, and saying "The power went out!" I was so confused for a minute, having just awakened, and it took me a minute to realize what was happening. Our bedroom light was off, which, honestly, we have yet to sleep with it off, because we are both paranoid. Sydnie had been out in the living area when it went out and so she came running into the bedroom (running into the counter in the process). If I were her, I would have done the exact same thing and would have woken her up, but right then I think I would much rather have been asleep instead of waking up to complete darkness. Sydnie was panicking, saying, "I'm not ready to sleep with the light off!" and wondering how she was going to check her bed in the dark (we check our bed for scorpions each night). She was freaking out and was scared of what might be lurking in the darkness. I think I would have been freaking out just as much if I wasn't already safely in my bed. Sydnie got in bed and I think it was only a couple minutes before the power returned. Praise the Lord! We could sleep in the safety of the light again. :)

On Thursday night Sydnie and I stayed up late and cleaned our apartment. We were up really late but I was so glad to get things cleaned. We also talked a lot while cleaning, and so that's part of the reason we were up so late, but it was good. Chatting, cleaning, coffee, and listening to music are some of the best things in life. :)

On Friday Sydnie and I decided to do our laundry. We both thought that we could do a week's worth in one shot, and that way just get it all done at the same time. We decided that we will never do that again! It took us hours - and we still didn't finish it all! Betty saw our tub of clothes soaking and said that whoever clothes those are is really ambitious! I now understand what she meant!

Saturday Tandrian, Betty, Sydnie, and I went to the beach with Matt, Brooke, and their kids. We had a great time! I had a lot of fun with their girls, Isabelle and Audrey. They are so sweet!

Yesterday morning I found myself getting stressed. We have a lot of plumbing problems in our apartment, and our shower was getting all backed up with smelly water. The result: our bathroom stunk really badly and we were unable to shower. It was sad, but just a part of life. Sydnie said, "I know I'm going to read something about this in my devotions!" And she did. She wrote out what she learned in her devotions and shared it with me, and in it she included the first part of the song, "It Is Well":

 "When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well, It is well with my soul.'"

We both needed to be reminded of the fact that we are called to be content no matter the circumstance in which we may find ourselves. The little frustrations that we daily face are just that - little frustrations. We need not let them discourage us and weigh us down.

I'm so thankful for all that Jesus is doing in my life. I am thankful that He is watching over me every minute of every day. I'm thankful that I can take everything to Him in prayer, even little issues such as stinky apartments and leaky sinks. I'm thankful that Jesus doesn't leave me the way that I am, but instead He refines me through the testings and trials of this life.

God is good, and God is faithful!

Arriving in Costa Rica

Tomorrow marks a week since I left for Costa Rica. Praise the Lord, it has been a good week!

It wasn’t as hard as I would have thought it would be to pack for six months, though my Mom did most if it and so I am sure that’s why. J If I didn’t have her help I am sure I would have ended up super overwhelmed, because it was still challenging trying to fit everything in the allotted space while not going over the weight limit. Thank you, Mom! I ended up having to check two bags –there was no way I could have gotten away with one. My carry on was packed full of medicine and I worried that I wouldn't be able to fit it in the overhead bin. My Mom reminded me to be anxious for nothing and that the Lord had brought me this far and so surely He would continue to pave my way to Costa Rica.

When I got there Sydnie was already there at the front counter to check her bag and everything. I then went to the counter and checked mine, and was done long before Sydnie, which was weird since she was there first. I soon heard that she was having a problem because of the length of her stay, and that they needed to see her bus ticket to Nicaragua where we will be going when we need to leave the country to get a new visa. Our bus tickets don’t have dates on them and apparently that was a problem. Finally they got everything squared away, but then they called me up to the desk. Thankfully, it didn't take too long with mine since they had just gone through it with Syd. I’m so glad it all worked out quickly – at that point I wanted to hurry up and get through security so that I wouldn't be cutting it close.

Robby and Colton Fowler came to the airport to pray for us before we left; that was blessing. One of my best friends, Joey, surprised me by coming and I was so glad that she did. My Mom knew she was going to come, but wanted to surprise me. She had said that Joey decided not to come because it would be too hard to say goodbye.

I got past security and met up with Syd who was already at our gate. Our flight was completely full, and so they were trying to get people to check their carry ons for free. It sounded like a really good deal, and I really wanted to do it so as not to have to deal with mine, but since it was all medicine I needed to keep it with me so that it wouldn't get lost. I still worried about fitting it up in the bin, even though when I went to Belize I had the exact same carry on and it fit fine.   

When it was time, I boarded the plane, and went to put my carry on in the bin, and could not get it to fit! Oh no, my nightmare was really happening! I got so nervous, and the plane was super crowded, but I had to go back to the front and talk to the flight attendant. I did, but it was hard since I was going against traffic and I am sure people were annoyed at me. I felt so panicky and told the flight attendant my problem and also that the carry on usually does fit, since I had traveled with it in the past. She quickly found the problem – one of the pockets was simply packed too full and so once I removed a few bottles of medicine it would fit. She was super sweet and understanding and I am so thankful for that, because she easily could have been grouchy at me for packing it too full.

I got back to my seat, and then Syd came on the plane, and was wondering why I was sitting where I was… I then realized I was in the wrong seat! I seem to always do that – I have no idea why since you think finding your seat would be one of the easier things about flying – apparently not in my case.

I ended up staying where I was, because the guy whose seat I unknowingly stole told me he didn't mind trading. Thankfully, again I encountered a gracious person who chose not to be grouchy with me. God is so good to me!

The lady next to me on the airplane was all drugged up because she gets super nervous when flying. She was so scared and at one point kept whispering to herself “it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine”. I get paranoid while flying as well, and seeing her freak out and get all nervous made me nervous too! I tried not to show it though, because I didn't want to make her more scared. I prayed with her and even though sitting next to her made me more nervous of flying, I am thankful that I did because it was cool being able to pray with her. Even in my weakness Jesus is strong!

I was so thankful once we were in Atlanta – I felt so glad to be out of the air. Sydnie and I discovered that the Atlanta airport is huge and walked from one end to the other because that’s where our gate was. Once over there, we decided that it was worth the walk to go find a Starbucks – after all, it would be our last one for six months!

The flight to Atlanta was uneventful. It wasn't a full flight and so Sydnie and I were able to change seats so that we could sit together.

We then arrived in Costa Rica! We went through customs alright. The lady kept asking me how long I was going to be in the country, and I kept trying to tell her I was leaving the country in 90 days, but she didn't speak English so could not understand me. She kept thinking I was saying 9 days and I kept trying to explain it. Finally, I think she just got tired of asking and let me go.

Matt and Cory (fellow missionaries) drove Sydnie, Tandrian (who arrived soon after us), and me to our apartments. We arrived there and began unpacking and getting all settled. 

Wednesday, the day after we arrived, we had orientation where we met with Cory to talk about what it is we will be doing each day.

Monday-Wednesday we have Potter’s Field Kids from 4:30-6:30pm. At PFK we will be teaching the children English, Bible stories, playing games, and helping with homework. Thursdays we have Bible club, which is also from 4:30-6:30pm and all children are welcome to attend for songs, a Bible story, and games.

A couple mornings a week we will be helping out at the church – cleaning, organizing, running errands, etc. Tuesday mornings one of us will help Rebecca, Pastor Phil’s wife, with whatever she may need help with that day. A couple of the mornings each week we will spend evangelizing or going around and visiting the PFK families.

Tuesday evenings there is Ladies Bible Study, Wednesday evening there is church, Thursday evenings there is worship practice for those who are interested in being on the team, and then there is also babysitting for Pastor Phil and Rebecca that evening. Friday evening is youth group. Saturday and Sundays are our day off for the most part.

I loved my time with the children this last week. I went to PFK on Wednesday, and then to kid’s club on Thursday and the kids are so much fun. It is definitely a huge challenge not being able to speak Spanish. I want to be building relationships with these children, but not being able to really talk to them is such a struggle. I would appreciate prayer that I would be able to quickly pick up some Spanish, and that even if I can’t speak to them in their language, that maybe I could find other ways to communicate my love, and most importantly, Jesus' love to them.

This last Friday was basically a free day, and Syd and I spent time cleaning our apartment. We both decided that it needed to be thoroughly cleaned, and that we wanted to get rid of whatever was smelling up the place! There was probably a lot that was contributing to the odor, but I think a lot of it had to do with the potatoes on the counter that I discovered were rotting. I was so thankful to get them out, although the apartment seems to always smell which is very unfortunate, though it could be way worse! 

Thursday evening Betty and I went to Matt and Brooke’s to babysit their kids. I had so much fun with them! Matt and Brooke are actually moving back to the states at the end of the month because that is where God is leading them for now. I am really sad that they are leaving, but thankful that they are still here for our first couple of weeks, and that I will see them at the ranch in Montana when we go back for reentry in April.

Saturday was another free day, and we decided to spend it at the beach. It was wonderful. I was able to spend time with the Lord while there, and, as I looked out at the ocean, was once again reminded how big our God really is. Compared to Him I am just a tiny grain of sand – actually even smaller, and what a comfort that was to me to remember that truth. All the problems that I have, all of my struggles and weaknesses, are so tiny compared to my God. Why do I spend so much of my time focusing on my problems, instead of looking up and focusing on my God? It was such a comfort to remember that God is so big, and so surely nothing could ever take me from His hand. I am His forever, and all my days are in His faithful hands. Yes, I will have struggles and trials, and yet He remains faithful and above it all. He is always on the throne, the question is do we recognize that fact and find peace in knowing He is on the throne, or do we fail to recognize His sovereignty because we are too focused on our problems?

I am so blessed to be here in Costa Rica. I am so thankful that the Lord has faithfully led me here. I have had so many fears and almost let my fears stop me from coming to Potter’s Field, and yet the Lord never gave up on me. He was so patient with me and gave me the grace to do His will. I am thankful that I serve a big God. I am thankful that no matter how big my problems may seem, He is bigger still. I am thankful that He gives me the grace I need each day. I am thankful that I can trust Him. I am thankful that He holds me in the palm of His hand and won’t ever let me go.

Seasons

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

When I begun my time at Potter's Field Ranch, I really struggled with leaving home. I wanted to embrace what the Lord had for me there at the ranch, and yet I was afraid that in so doing I would have to let go of my family. I was afraid that new relationships would replace the old, and I didn't want that to happen.

I realized that I am now grown up, my childhood is behind me, and I really grieved over that. I would think of memories of my childhood, and while I was very thankful for those memories, my heart would break because I would wish that those times had not ended. Like in Peter Pan, I wished that there was a Never Land, somewhere I could go where I would never have to grow older and move away from my family.

This was something that I believed the Lord had to work out in my life. I had to learn how to move away and let go.The Lord is so good and brought me through that time. I was so afraid that if I embraced what He had set before me, then I would lose my family. He showed me that nothing could ever, ever replace my family. I learned that I can readily form new relationships with the people whom He so lovingly places in my life, while still not losing that special relationship with my family. This may seem obvious and sound silly, and yet it was something that I really had to learn there at Potter's Field. I think so often we are trying to hold on so tightly to what we are afraid to lose that we are unable to receive what the Lord is so graciously trying to give us.

Tonight I read the above Scripture. It is a familiar passage, and yet one that the Lord is using to speak to me in this season of my life. There is a time for everything. A time to be a little girl, and a time to grow up and, in my case, move to Costa Rica for 6 months. In the midst of all of the seasons of life, in all of the changes, Jesus remains faithful and He never changes. There is a time for everything, and in everything God promises to work all things for my good if I love Him and am called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28). Because of this promise, I can trust that even in the times of change, the times of hardship, good will come out of it. Things may not look good, they may not feel good, but I can trust that God is good and that He will be faithful to remember all of His promises to me.

If you read further in Ecclesiastes you will come to chapter 3 verse 11 where the writer says: "He has made everything beautiful in its time." I love this. There is a time for everything, and He has made everything beautiful in its time. This speaks to me of the fact that God's plan is perfect, and even though change is hard, God knows when that change needs to take place. God makes everything beautiful in its time, which means in every season He has a purpose and a plan. He is always, always working for our good and His glory, even when it doesn't feel like it.

I am so, so thankful that I can trust that God is good and is working for my good. I am so thankful that even though I may look wistfully back at past seasons in my life, I can trust that God knows best and knows when change needs to happen in order to make everything beautiful.


"Picture a piece of embroidery placed between you and God, with the right side up towards God. Man sees the loose, frayed ends; but God sees the pattern." Corrie Ten Boom

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Luke 17:10

“So you also, when you have done all that was commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy servants, we have only done what was our duty.’” Luke 17:10

To me, this verse speaks of how the life of a servant is not some extraordinary thing, but rather one which all believers in Christ should lead.

When you serve Jesus and others, it is far too easy to feel as though you are something special. Especially here at Potter’s Field, it can be easy to feel as though we are giving up so much to serve Jesus and thus should earn some special blessing. This is not the case! Granted the Lord blesses obedience, and yet our obedience to come here is not some extraordinary thing, rather it is a response to God’s love for us. We need to stop thinking that we are giving such a huge sacrifice to Christ, and realize that our giving our lives to Him is simply what we are called as servants to do. He is so worthy of our lives, and we are so unworthy. Our serving Him is not some amazing thing, but rather what is expected of a follower of Jesus. It is also important to realize that the Lord has a different plan for each and everyone’s life. We should never feel as though we are serving Jesus more than another, because He has called us to serve in different capacities and locations. He may call some to Potter’s Field, He may call some to serve in the workplace, and He may call some to stay and serve at home. It is never about what the servant is doing, but rather the heart of the servant that’s doing it. The heart of the servant should always be one of humbleness and gratitude. Humbleness in that he knows all he offers to God is simply in response to all he has been given, and gratitude that he is even allowed to serve such an amazing God.

I feel so blessed and so blown away that the Lord has called me to be His servant. It makes me want to fall on my knees in worship when I think how He has chosen not only to save me by His grace, but to also use me by His grace. I want to daily serve Him with all of my heart, and to do it with humbleness and gratitude. I want to realize that anything I give Him is not some amazing sacrifice, but rather that which He deserves. He deserves so much more than I could ever give Him!

I love Romans 12:1 – “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.”

My life of service to Jesus is not some extraordinary thing, but rather it is reasonable that I would live a life of service to Him in response to all that He has done for me.

Application: Today, I will pray and ask the Lord to help me to serve my family as I go home. I want to serve Jesus by serving my family.

Luke 17:9

“Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded?” Luke 17:9

This verse is encouraging and convicting to me because it reminds me that I am not to serve the Lord for the praise and approval of men. This can be really challenging, and yet also really freeing.

There is such an entitlement mentality in our culture. Instead of people laying down their rights to serve the Lord, they often feel that they are entitled to so many things. Even when serving the Lord, we all too often feel entitled. We start getting a holier than thou attitude because we feel as though we are doing so much for the Lord. We start to feel entitled to things because, after all, we are so dedicated to Jesus and thus certainly deserve great blessings. These thoughts are full of self and pride, and yet many would probably confess to feeling this way from time to time. One of the things we may feel entitled to while serving Jesus is appreciation and thanks. We may work really hard serving Jesus by serving someone, and expect that person to express thanksgiving to us. I feel that the person we are serving should indeed be thankful, and yet I also feel that on our part we need to not expect that thanks to be given us. We need to make sure that in our hearts we are serving Jesus because we love Him and not serving someone because we want their approval and thanks.

Let’s face it. It can be really hard not to be thanked. It’s something so simple, and yet it bothers us so much. When I worked at Costco giving out samples, it really bothered me how many people would take a sample and not even say thank you. I understood that I was simply doing my job and that I didn’t buy the food with my own money, but to me it just seemed like common sense to say thank you when you are given free food. My parents raised me to always say please and thank you and I quickly found out that not everyone has been raised that way. Now, I still think that it is important to be polite and say please and thank you, but at the end of the day I went home knowing that my part was to simply be faithful to do my job regardless of if the customers thanked me or not. I didn’t stop serving the samples because they didn’t say thank you. If I did, I would have been in trouble, because it wasn’t about being thanked, it was about being faithful to do my job.

How does one serve the Lord wholeheartedly not longing for or expecting gratitude? I believe that how one does this is to live a life of thanksgiving yourself. It can be frustrating not being thanked, and yet when you decide to spend your life thanking Jesus for all He has done for you, then you won’t have time to focus on how you’re not being thanked. The truth is, you and I aren’t worthy. We aren’t worthy to be thanked and appreciated, but Jesus is. He is the only One worthy of praise and thanksgiving. I don’t want to waste my time feeling irritated that I’m not being thanked, because I don’t deserve it. I want to spend my time thanking the only One who does deserve it. I want to live a life of total service to Him, and I want my heart to be filled to overflowing with thanksgiving for all He has done for me. He is so, so faithful, and I want to thank and praise Him every day for His faithfulness.

Application: I want my life to be marked by thankfulness. Jesus has been so good to me and I want others to see His goodness in me. I don’t want to complain about things, because that doesn’t bring Him glory. Instead, I want to be filled with thanksgiving. Today I will ask someone on my team to keep me accountable to not complain. I will also spend time thanking Jesus for all He has done for me.  

Luke 17:8

“Will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare supper for me, and dress properly, and serve me while I eat and drink, and afterward you will eat and drink’?” Luke 17:8

We saw in the previous verse that a servant is not asked to come in and sit down when he has returned from a day of work, and now here we see that rather he is expected to continue on serving.  This again speaks to me of the fact that a servant has no rights.

A bondservant is a willing slave, one who has voluntarily given himself for life to his master. He is one who gives up his rights and lives a life of service to his master. I am a bondservant of Christ. I have accepted Jesus into my heart and thus I am no longer my own; I am His.

Too often we spend so much time clinging to our rights that we forget that Jesus, who is fully God, surrendered His rights and offered Himself as a sacrifice for us so that we might live. If He, who is fully God, willingly laid down His life out of love for me, I want to willingly lay down my life out of love for Him. Sacrifice comes from deep love, and I want to be so deeply in love with Jesus that I am willing to sacrifice all for the sake of serving Him.

In my last devotion I mentioned the first verse in the song “You Can Have Me”, by Sidewalk Prophets, and I think that the second verse and chorus also go really well with this devotion:

“If You’re all You claim to be, then I’m not losing anything. So I will crawl upon my knee, just to know the joy of suffering. I will love You enough to let go, Lord I give You my life, I give You my life! When did love become unmoving? When did love become unconsuming? Forgetting what the world has told me, Father of love, You can have me.”

It can be really hard to live the life of a servant, to give up all to follow hard after Jesus, and yet we must remember that it is so worth it. In the midst of the sacrifice, we must never forget why we are making that sacrifice, and most importantly, for whom we are making that sacrifice. Just like this song says, if Jesus is all He claims to be, which He is, then we really aren’t losing anything. Oh, in the moment it may feel like we’re losing a lot. We may feel as though we are losing everything we ever wanted, and yet we must remember that what we want is not necessarily the best, and that God loves us too much to want less than the best for us. He wants us to live a life of surrendered service not because He enjoys watching us suffer, but rather because He knows the joy that we will have when we live that life of service. I want to love Jesus enough to let go of everything else but Him. I want to love Him with my life, not just with my words. There is so much fellowship in suffering for Jesus – it is when we suffer for Him that we learn to really press into Him, and thus find sweet fellowship with Him. There is no greater joy than that which is found in fellowship with Jesus! I want my life to be one of sacrifice; even it means suffering, so that I might live in constant fellowship with Jesus.

Paul understood what it meant to lay down his rights in order that he might serve His king. In Acts 20:24 he wrote: “But I do not account my life of any value, nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” I don’t want to count my life as precious to myself, to hold onto it as if it were of value to me. My life is precious and valuable only when it is poured out as a sacrifice to Jesus. It is in death to myself that I truly find life. It is in sacrifice that I truly find joy.

It is important to realize that a life of sacrifice, service, and surrender is only made possible by Jesus. I can’t do it by myself. On my own I am full of sin and want nothing more than to live for myself. It is only by the power of Jesus and by His grace that I am able to lay my life down before Him. It is not me working hard so that I might please Him, it is Him working in me. My part is simply to trust and take Him at His Word.

Oh, Jesus, please give to me a servant’s heart. I pray that I would not count my life as precious to myself, but that I would daily sacrifice it to You.

Application: Today I will pray for grace to willingly lay down my rights, and to do it with joy.

Luke 17:7

“Will any of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and recline at table’?” Luke 17:7

Jesus begins to teach the disciples what it truly means to be His servant. The answer to His rhetorical question in this verse is no, of course not. When a servant comes in from his work, he is not pampered and told to sit down; instead, we’ll see in the next verse, he is expected to continue serving.

To me, this verse speaks of how a servant has no rights. Many a people would feel that they deserve to relax after a long day’s work. Not so the servant. The servant not only willingly serves continually, but also looks for ways in which he might serve.

In pondering what it means to be a servant, I am reminded of the song “You Can Have Me” by Sidewalk Prophets. The lyrics are so powerful to me:

“If I saw You on the street, and You said ‘Come and follow Me’, but I had to give up everything, all I once held dear and all of my dreams. Would I love You enough to let go, or would my love run dry, when You asked for my life?”

I want to be Jesus’ servant, no matter the cost. The truth is, we sometimes don’t realize the things that are dear to us and how much we love our rights until we are asked to give them up. I want to love Jesus enough to give up everything for Him. I don’t want to look for ways I can take a break from serving Jesus, but rather look for ways I can serve Him. I want to be His faithful servant all the days of my life.

Application: I will pray that I would have a servant’s heart.

Luke 17:6

And the Lord said, “If you had faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.” Luke 17:6

Faith like a grain of a mustard seed. I love this analogy because a mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds, and yet Jesus said that we only need faith like a grain of a mustard seed to do extraordinary things. To me, this is a wonderful reminder of how intimately Jesus knows His children. He knows how doubtful we often are, and how for some strange reason faith seems to be hard for us. Indeed, there are so many times when I feel I must do more and try harder, and I forget that my life is to be one of faith, not one of works. To be sure, our good works are a fruit of our faith, but never the reverse. A verse that I need to be reminded of often is Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him.”  All too often I find myself going about my day, thinking of everything I have to do, and as a result I am focused on my works and not on Jesus. I want to please Jesus each and every day, and to do this I must live by faith, because nothing I do apart from my faith in Him could ever bring Him pleasure.

Our faith needs to be in Jesus, not in faith itself. Jesus is the object of our faith. Faith itself doesn’t move mountains, heal the sick, or cause the hardened heart to soften – Jesus is the only One who is able. Jesus simply asks that we would have faith in Him to do these things. I believe that one reason Jesus wants us to have faith is simply because He wants us. In order for us to have faith in Him, we must first know Him. As my youth pastor once said, “It’s hard to trust someone you don’t know.” He said this speaking of our relationship with Jesus, and how if we want to really trust Him, we have to really know Him.

How thankful I am that Jesus beckons me to know and trust Him more and more each day! How thankful I am that it doesn’t take an extraordinary amount of faith, but simply a childlike faith. I can come to Him as my Heavenly Father and know that even though I am so faithless, He remains faithful. (2 Timothy 2:13) How thankful I am that He is so faithful to hear the desperate cry of my heart: “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

Application: I will ask the Lord to help me have a childlike faith, and to remember that my faith is in Him alone.

Jesus Is My Home

I love the song, “Hideaway”. If I had to choose my top favorite worship song, that would be it. I love the chorus: “You are my rest, You are my home, safe in Your arms, my Hideaway.”

These words so sweetly ministered to me when I first heard them in church years ago, and then when I was in Belize a couple years ago the Lord again used that song to encourage me.

While in Belize on a mission trip, I really struggled with being homesick. It didn’t really make sense to me, since I was only gone for about 9 days and I had been away from home and out of the country on other mission trips before that.

It was hard for me, and yet the Lord really used that struggle to teach me something. He taught me that He is my home. He used the song “Hideaway” to remind me of this. On that trip I was so tired and homesick, yet the Lord showed me that my rest and my home is in Him.

Home is where I belong, where I feel safe and secure. Home is where I am cared for and loved. Home is where my heart rejoices and finds rest.

When I write out that list of what home is, I really see that indeed Jesus is my home. He is where I belong. In Him I am safe and secure, cared for and loved. In Him my heart rejoices and finds rest.

I am so thankful that Jesus taught me this lesson. I believe that He knew that I needed to learn that lesson then if I was to become a missionary.

That’s not to say that I still don’t miss my earthly home and family. I miss them so much, and it’s been hard to be away from them. I can’t wait to spend ten days at home with my family. I want those days to go by incredibly slow; I want to cherish every moment with them.

Even if I’m thousands of miles away, nothing could ever take the place of my family. I will always carry them close to my heart. Next week I won’t be able to see my brother Nicholas since he lives across the country, but he still holds a very special place in my heart. No one or thing could ever change that.

Recognizing Jesus as my home does not make me love my family any less; rather it gives me the strength and comfort I need to be away from them.

Thank You, Jesus, for being my rest, my home, and for keeping me safe in Your arms. You are my Hideaway.

John 17:24

“Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, may be with Me where I am, too see My glory that You have given Me, because You loved Me before the foundation of the world.” John 17: 24

This verse should fill every believer which such joy and comfort. How amazing it is that Jesus actually desires us to be with Him! The perfect One, the spotless Lamb, the Son of God, the Great I am, wants to be with me; a sinner. I am so thankful for what He accomplished on the cross so that I can be with Him. There is no way on my own that I am able to enter into His presence – it is only by His blood. Jesus has completed the work necessary to bring me into fellowship with Himself.

I am reminded of John 14:1-3 – “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told You that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to Myself, that where I am you may be also.”

Even before Jesus spoke these words, He knew the doubts and fears that would so often plague me. He knew the sleepless nights I would face because of my fears, He knew the tears I would cry because of my doubts. He knew all these things, and He also knew the remedy for my doubts and fears. The remedy is the assurance that I will one day be with Him in Heaven. He is preparing a place for me in Heaven, and what a sweet comfort that is to me. There are many doubts and fears that I face in this life, and yet I always need to go back to the words of Jesus, remembering that He calls me to believe and trust in Him, to take Him at His Word that He is preparing a place for me. On those sleepless nights when fears and anxieties swarm in my mind, I believe that Jesus longs for me to remember these words which He spoke in John 14; that He is preparing a place for me. “My child,” He sweetly whispers, “Fear not, for even as you lay here overwhelmed by fear, I am preparing a place for you beside Me. Nothing can take you from My perfect hand. Rest in the hope of heaven, rest in Me. Hold onto My words, and let them be a comfort to your troubled heart.”

I am so thankful that Jesus is preparing a place for me to be with Him in glory forever, and not only that, but He actually desires for me to be with Him forever. What a gracious and loving Savior!

Jesus, please remind me of these things daily. I am so prone to fear, so prone to doubt and anxiety. Please remind me of Your words in the gospel of John, and please help me to trust Your Word. I believe, please help my unbelief.

Application: Today I will ask the Lord to help me listen to His voice and not to my fears and anxieties.

John 17:23

“I in them and You in Me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that You have sent Me and loved them even as You loved Me.” John 17:23

As Jesus continues His prayer we once again see Him express His desire for the unity of His disciples. I believe one of the reasons Jesus repeats His prayer for unity so often in this passage is because He knows how much of a struggle unity is for us. He knows that we believers desperately need all the prayers for unity we can get, because daily it is something with which we each wrestle. Another reason I believe He repeats Himself is because He wants us to really understand how important it is that we are unified. Unity is God’s deep desire for us, and thus it should be ours as well.  

Jesus desires for His followers to be perfectly one. In studying the previous verse, I realized how unity is only possible through Jesus. When hearing that we as believers are called to be perfectly one, it is easy to become discouraged and wonder how in the world that will ever come to be, and yet we needn’t be discouraged. As always, we simply need to take our eyes off of ourselves, realizing that it is not about us, but about Him in us. With man it is impossible to be perfectly united with his fellow brothers and sisters, and yet what is impossible with man is possible with God. Our part is surrendering to Jesus, dying to ourselves to that He might live in us.

As we continue on reading the verse, we again see that Jesus desires for us to be united that our unity might be a testimony to the world around us. As I said, unity is only possible when we are in Christ, and so when we are unified it points to Him.

I absolutely love the last part of this verse – “that You have sent me and loved them even as You loved Me.” What an encouraging statement! God has loved us even as He has loved His Son. This absolutely amazes me. I am so thankful that a perfect God loves me, such an imperfect person. I think it’s important to realize that just because God loves us does not mean that we are spared from pain and hurt in this life. I think so often it is easy to think, “If God loves me, why is this happening?” And yet we need not forget God’s Son, Jesus, whom He loves with all of His heart. God loves Jesus with all His heart, and yet Jesus endured the hardest trial of all; death on a cross. God, in His infinite love and wisdom, sent His Son to die for us. He knew how painful it would be, and yet He also knew that that was what needed to take place in order to complete His plan for salvation. You see, God loves Jesus with all of His heart, and yet Jesus endured much suffering, but His suffering was used for good, for the salvation of all who would believe on Him. The same is true with us, God loves us with all of His heart, and yet we still must endure suffering. We are not spared from the trials of this life, and yet we can be confident, that, since we love God and are called according to His purpose, all things will work together for good. (Rom. 8:28)

I am so thankful to know that God loves me with such an extravagant and amazing love. Even when I go through hard times, I can be comforted knowing that He loves me.

Application: Today I will thank God for loving me with such an extravagant love.

John 17:22

“The glory that You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one even as We are one.” John 17:22

I read this verse yesterday morning and was thinking about it throughout the day. There are some days when I read the verses we are studying and it’s not too difficult for me interpret them, but this verse was a challenge for me.

What really stood out to me in this verse is the beginning of it –“The glory that You have given Me I have given to them.” This amazes me. The glory that God the Father gave Jesus His Son, has also been given to us. We who have Christ in us also have the hope of glory in us. Colossians 1:27 says: “To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”  We know that one day we shall see Jesus face to face and will then dwell in everlasting glory. I can’t wait! This reminds me of Romans 8:18 – “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” What a comfort this is to me! There are many trials, disappointments, and hardships we face in this life. If one focuses on those things, it’s very easy to become discouraged. I am so thankful that we don’t have to focus on the trials, disappointments, and hardships, because while those things are very real, they are only temporary. How much better then is it to focus on the eternal! Our future glory is eternal and going back to Romans 8:18 we see that nothing we could ever go through is even worth comparing to the glory which awaits us. This should give us great motivation to press on through the valleys, and to press on with joy.

Jesus gave us the glory that was given to Him so that we may be one, just as He is one with His Father and the Holy Spirit. How does the glory which we are given relate to the unity to which we are called? I had a hard time connecting these things together. I believe that the glory which Jesus has given us is the driving force of our unity, that is, His glory in us is what makes us long for unity with our brothers and sisters. Jesus is our glory, He is the One for whom it is more than worth going through these present sufferings. He is not only the driving force of our unity, but He is also the One who even makes unity possible. It is only Jesus in us, who is our glory, who enables us to live in unity with our brothers and sisters. On our own we are absolutely unable to achieve unity; it is only by Jesus.

I am so thankful that Jesus chose to make me His daughter; He chose to reserve an inheritance of glory for me. He is my hope of glory. He not only chose to reveal His glory to be in the future, but each day He shows me His glory and is transforming me into His likeness. I am so amazed that Jesus has chosen to bless me so abundantly, and I long to live a life of thanksgiving to Him. He has asked that I be unified with my fellow believers, and I want to honor His request. I can only do this by His strength. On my own it is impossible, but the things which are impossible for man are possible with God.

Application: Today I will thank the Lord for being my hope of glory.

John 17:21

“that they may all be one, just as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that You have sent Me.” John 17:21

Jesus continues His prayer for His disciples. What was His prayer request for them? His prayer request was for unity, that His disciples may be one. This is still Jesus’ heart for His people today. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever, and thus He still longs for His body to be united as one.

Why did Jesus pray for the unity of His disciples, when, in our eyes, there were probably many “more important” things for which He could have prayed for them? I believe He prayed for the disciples’ unity because He knew how much of a struggle this was for them, and not only that, but He also knew how much of a struggle this would be for every single person who would come to believe in Him.

It is really hard to live in unity with each other. Everyone has their own desires, their own plans, and their own struggles, thus in order to be in unity we must die to self so that we might life to Jesus. Jesus is the one Thing we all have in common, and thus to be united as brothers and sisters in Christ we must live for Him and not ourselves.

Why is unity so hard? Why is it such a struggle? Why isn’t easy to lay down my rights for my brothers and sisters?  I believe it is because the enemy is working so hard to destroy the unity of the church. Notice the last part of John 17:21 – “so that the world may believe that You have sent Me.”  When believers are unified, it is a testimony of Jesus to a lost and dying world. Satan does not like this. He is doing everything he possibly can in order to prevent people to come to the saving grace of Jesus. It makes sense, then, that he works so hard to cause us to not be unified.

What a comfort to me to know that Jesus prayed for the unity of His followers. I want to daily die to myself for the sake of unity, for the sake of living a life pleasing to Jesus. How I long to live in unity with my brothers and sisters so that it would be a testimony of Jesus to the world around us!

Application: Today I will pray that there will be unity within our teams.

John 17:20

John 17:20 says, “I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word”. I believe that there are treasures in this verse from which we can glean. I love Jesus’ statement here, that He does not ask for these only (His present followers), but also for those who would come to believe in Him. I love this because this tells me that Jesus was not only praying for His disciples there, but He was also praying for me. He was praying for all who would believe in Him, and all means all. Every single believer is included in Jesus’ prayer. This should be a tremendous comfort to all believers. I am always so encouraged to know that people are praying for me, and what an encouragement to know that the King of kings and Lord of lords prays for me! In John 17:15 Jesus prayed, “I do not ask that You take them out of the world, but that You keep them from the evil one.” Jesus is fully aware of the spiritual battle which takes place inside every believer’s heart, and He prayed for us concerning this. Sometimes I feel so weak and the battle is so hard for me, and I am so encouraged to know that Jesus prayed for me specifically concerning this.

It’s important that we also look at the second part of John 17:20. Jesus prayed for those who would come to believe in Him through the word of His disciples. This is really important because it reminds us of the power of the believer’s testimony. Jesus wants to use each and every believer’s testimony as a witness to the world. I want people to come to know Jesus through my words. I don’t want my words to be self focused, but rather to point to Jesus and to declare how amazingly gracious He has been to me. Today the Lord has reminded me of the lyrics of a song: “Your grace still amazes me, Your love is still a mystery, each day I fall on my knees, ‘cause Your grace still amazes me.” I am so amazed by the grace the Lord Jesus has lavished upon me, and continues to lavish upon me day after day. I am such a sinner, and yet He has blessed me so abundantly. To think that I am serving Him in ministry makes me feel so incredibly thankful. I am so thankful that Jesus is able to use me by His grace and has chosen to bless me. How can I keep Him to myself? This Jesus who loves me so faithfully, who forgives me so graciously, who blesses me so sweetly, longs to in the same way love, forgive, and bless everyone in this whole world. I want to declare Him to a lost and dying world around me. I want to live and speak in such a way that people would see the grace and goodness of the Lord in my life and would come to believe in Him.

Application: Today I will give thanks to Jesus for praying for me and for using me by His grace. I will pray that my life will point others to Him. 

Be Still

Ps. 23:1-2
"The LORD is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters."

My good Shepherd makes me lie down in green pastures. When I read verse 2, I picture Jesus smiling and saying, "Amen!" He knows He has to make me lie down. All too often I am running in circles, anxious and afraid with a long list of things to do, and it is then my Shepherd makes me lie down.
He knows how against my nature it is to rest, but as a loving Father He knows how much I need that rest. It may happen through a sharp rebuke of a loved one, a gentle whisper from His Word, or the encouragement of family, but one way or another Jesus is faithful to make me lie down.
He longs for me to rest in Him. Yes, to be faithful to my calling, but all the while resting in His perfect hand.

He leads me beside still waters. So often I take the noisy route, the route with sirens and horns, the route with train whistles and airplanes. I find myself getting lost in the noise and chaos of life, because instead of letting my faithful Shepherd lead me beside still waters, I have led myself on a busy street and have gotten stuck in traffic. The traffic of my anxious thoughts and fears, the traffic of my doubts and emotions, and because I am stuck in traffic, I can't get where He wants me. I am stuck.

It is then my heavenly Father gently yet firmly lays hold of me, picks me up, and carries me back to those still waters. Once beside those still waters, I wonder why in the world I ever thought it best to leave them. "Be still, My child", my Shepherd sweetly whispers, "Know that I am God. don't be afraid to stay by the still waters. This is where I want you, for it is in the stillness you hear My voice. It is in the stillness you remember My promises, and thus find strength to walk in My plans for you. Be still and know that I am God." 

Mark 8:38

In Mark 8:34-37 Jesus told His disciples that if they would come after Him, they must deny themselves, pick up their crosses, and follow Him. He also told them that the one who desires to save his life must first lose it. He asked them what profit there is in gaining the world and yet forfeiting your soul, and He also asked what a man could give in return for his soul. The answer to this last question, of course, is no earthly thing can a man give in return for his soul. There is nothing a man can do in and of himself for salvation. Jesus is the only One who can save the soul. It is only by believing in His finished work that one might be saved.

These last several verses have been pretty heavy. We have really discovered that Jesus doesn’t merely want a part of us, He wants our heart. There are so many who simply add Jesus to their life instead of making Him their life. This is not at all His heart for His people. He longs for an intimate and close relationship with His children, and this requires sacrifice. It required sacrifice on His part to even make the relationship possible, and now it requires sacrifice on our part to really live our lives for Him.

Now in verse 38, after Jesus calling His disciples to a life fully devoted to Him, He says: “For whoever is ashamed of Me and of My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when He comes in the glory of His father with the holy angels.”

Let’s admit it. It’s easy to sit in the comfort of our home or church, surrounded by fellow believers, and think “I would never be ashamed of Jesus! I love talking about Him and praising His name!” But what about when you get to work and are around your coworkers with whom you want so much to be friends? How excited are you to talk about Him then? What about at those family gatherings on special occasions, when your loved ones are putting down Christians and the only time you hear God’s name is when it is used in vain? How bold and ready are you then to declare your love for Jesus?

I am so guilty of not speaking up for Jesus like I should. It’s much easier to simply enjoy the small talk at work, or to sit quietly at the dinner table at those family gatherings, but Jesus doesn’t call us to an easy life, does He? If you think He wants you to live an easy life, just go back and read Mark 8:34-37 again.  

I want my life to be marked by my unashamed love for Jesus. I want to love Him out loud no matter the cost, no matter what people may think of me.

I love Romans 1:16 – “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.”

Wow! The gospel is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. I don’t want to be ashamed of the good news of Jesus! I want to live my life in a way that always points to Him, and I don’t want to only point to Him, but to also not be afraid to speak of Him. I long for my loved ones and the whole world to come to know Jesus, and so I need to live in a way that daily declares Him. Jesus, please help me do this.

Application: Today I will pray that I would not shrink back from declaring Jesus, both in my words and in my actions. I will pray for boldness for Him. 

Mark 8:37

“For what can a man give in return for his soul?” Mark 8:37

In Mark 8:36 Jesus asks, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” Now in verse 37 He asks yet another question, “For what can a man give in return for his soul?”

I believe that these two questions go hand in hand, that is, the question posed in verse 36 helps to explain and answer the question in verse 37. In looking at Jesus’ question in verse 36, I realized how important it is to pursue the things which are eternal. I saw how meaningless it is to possess great earthly riches and yet not have Christ. Now as I come to verse 37 I can’t help but tie these verses together. “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?” I believe that in these verses Jesus desperately wants His disciples to understand that there is absolutely no profit in being rich in this life if you are heading into an eternity without Him. After Jesus makes it clear that there is no profit in earthly riches if you are spiritually bankrupt, He then goes onto ask what a man can give in return for his soul. I believe that here Jesus is saying that there is no earthly thing you can give in return for your soul. It doesn’t matter if you are the richest man on this earth, because in the end those riches can never buy you eternal life. There is nothing that you can do or give to buy yourself eternal life with Christ.

I am so thankful that before the foundation of the world, Jesus already knew this truth. He knew that there would be nothing I could ever do or give to save my soul. He knew how desperately I would need to be bought back from sin; how desperately I would need a Savior. This reminds me of a quote: “If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator. If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist. If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist. If our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer.

But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Savior.”

I am so thankful that God new my greatest need and He fulfilled that need in His Son, Jesus. God sent Jesus to die to pay the price for my sin, the price that I could never ever begin to pay. He raised Him to life again so that I could have eternal life. Jesus has paid the price for me, He has ransomed me, and He has redeemed me. I am eternally His.

Application: Today I will spend time thanking Jesus for redeeming me, and I will ask Him to remind me every day that I am His.

Mark 8:36

In Mark 8:36 Jesus asked a profound yet simple question, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?”  To me this is echoing what He just said in verse 35, that in order to save your life you have to lose it. That is, you have to lose yourself and be fully surrendered to Him in order to truly find life.

What gain is there if I possess earthly treasures and yet have not the hope of heaven? I am heartbroken knowing that there are so many in this world who are living the “good” life and yet do not know Jesus. In the end, the “good” life will fade and they will find themselves in a lonely place and without hope; without Jesus. I would rather be dirt poor in this life and know Jesus and know I am going to be with Him for all of eternity than to be rich in the eyes of this world and without Christ.

In the end, nothing will matter except what we did for Jesus. Everything will fade, and yet our relationship with Jesus will last. James 1:11 says: “For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass, its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.” I love this verse because it makes me long to live for that which will never fade away. Am I pursuing the things of this world, which will quickly fade away, or am I pursuing that which will last forever? Am I pursuing the things of me, or the things of Christ? Nothing else matters except that which I do for Jesus.

I have my dreams and my desires, except I want to not pursue my dreams and my desires, but to pursue Jesus’ dreams and desires for my life. In the end, my dreams and desires will fade away anyway, and so I want them to fade away right now because I want only to pursue Jesus’ dreams and desires for my life. I love the line from the song “Somewhere in the Middle” by Casting Crowns – “Will we trade our dreams for His, or are we caught in the middle?”I want to daily trade my dreams for His.  

I want to live pursuing Jesus’ desires for my life, which means living with a heart for the lost. I want my purpose in this life to be to know Jesus and to make Him known, because in the end nothing else will matter.

Jesus, please give me a greater burden for the lost. Please help me to be in prayer for them each and every day. Please help me to also lay aside my dreams and desires and to pursue only the things of You.

Application: Today I will again spend time praying for those I know who don’t know Jesus, as well as spend time in prayer laying down my desires so that I may live for Jesus’ desires and not my own.

Mark 8:35

“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel’s will save it.” Mark 8:35

This verse reminds me of something Jim Elliot once said – “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

Mark 8:35 and Jim Elliot’s quote are both very encouraging to me. I am encouraged by them because I am reminded that, as I surrender my life to Jesus each day, I am giving it for Him who won’t ever be taken away from me. Some may think me foolish to leave my family and want to become a missionary, and yet I know that this life the Lord has given me is not my own. I know that as tempting as it may be to go back home and life a “normal” life, that is not where the Lord wants me. I know that it is in losing my life for Christ, in dying to myself, that I truly find life, and life abundantly.

 It is so easy to feel as though I am giving so much to be here, and yet it is in giving my life to Jesus that I truly experience what it really is to live. There is so much joy in obedience.

I want to live each and every day with a heavenly mindset. Jesus won’t ever be taken away from me, and I want to live each day with that truth in mind. I want to live each day with Heaven in mind so that sacrifices in this present life will seem tiny in comparison to the glory that awaits me.

I want to give everything to love Jesus, because He gave everything to love me. When my days on this earth are ending, I want to be able to look back over my life and know that daily I lived my life by losing it for Jesus. How I long to hear my Savior speak those sweet words to me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”!

Application: Today I will spend time in prayer once again laying my fears and anxieties upon the altar, so that I may lose my life and thus fully live it for Jesus.