He Walks with Me

I'm so thankful for the many promises I find in God's Word; promises that sustain and give needed encouragement on the hard days of life.

Over the years, Psalm 37 has been a favorite of
mine. It's packed full of so many verses that bring such encouragement to my heart. Psalm 37:23-24 are particularly ones in which I find so much comfort:

"The steps of a good man are ordered by 
the LORD, 
And He delights in his way.
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly 
cast down;
For the LORD upholds him with His hand."

I love the promise that God upholds me. To be honest, sometimes it feels as though I'm "utterly cast down", and yet I take comfort knowing that even when I do fall, Jesus will pick me up; He'll raise me up again. It might feel as though I'm utterly cast down, but in Jesus there is always hope. I can rest knowing He will be faithful to uphold me.

This verse reminds me of a day back when I was in Africa. It was a beautiful day, and Danyal and I went to visit one of the families in the village. We made the climb up the steep hillside to the house, and the view from up top was spectacular. It was such a beautiful day in the country I love, and I remember being very blessed by our visit.

One of the things I love about the Ugandans is how giving and hospitable they are. Even if they might not have much to give, even if they have already worked a long and tiring day, they are so happy and ready to receive their guests with a smile. Danyal and I sat and talked with Naturinda, and his wife soon came and served us a hearty meal. We visited for some time, and then Naturinda took us on a little walk to see where his family gets their water. It was near to their house, and again, I loved being in the beauty of God's creation.

Since Naturinda and his wife had to go work at their store that evening, they walked with Danyal and me back down the hill.

As I started down the hill, I began to comment about how someone could easily slip, when I started to slip myself! Naturinda quickly grabbed my arm and steadied me, and then he continued to hold onto my arm as we walked down the hill. He let go at one point, but as soon as we reached where he knew I would again lose my footing, he grabbed my arm and held onto me.

On that beautiful day in Uganda, I was reminded of Psalm 37:24:

"Though he fall, he shall not be utterly 
cast down;
For the LORD upholds him with His hand."

The promise in that verse suddenly had new meaning to me. I thought about how just as Naturinda held onto my arm to help me down the hill, so too my Heavenly Father holds onto me and helps me through the difficult places in life. Naturinda had been down that hill many times before, and thus he knew the places that would cause me difficulty. He was there beside me to help me over those rough places. I couldn't help but think about how my Heavenly Father goes before me, and how He too has already walked the path ahead of me. He knows the difficult places of life, the places in which I'm prone to struggle, and He is holding onto me all along the way, helping me over the bumpy spots. When I stumble, He is always there to lift me up again, and through every season of life He will remain faithful to uphold me.

I'm so thankful for this truth. Lately, I have felt weary and "burnt out". I know God is working on me through this time, but it's been rather hard. I've had a lot of days of discouragement and feeling down, but I'm thankful for the Lord's faithfulness, even on the hard days. Even on the days I feel down, I can take heart because of God's promises. Though I might feel cast down, my God promises to uphold me. He won't ever fail. I take comfort knowing that God's Word is filled with promises to the weary, the broken, and the weak. Times like these are when I learn to lean upon God's grace and strength, and feeling the sorrow of life makes my heart look toward heaven and eternity. There might be days when the weight of life knocks me down, but my Heavenly Father will raise me up again. He will walk down the hill with me, and He can use this time to draw me closer to Himself.

"Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you.
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
~Isaiah 41:10 

My Song

The Lord has been teaching me that He is my song. This may sound simple, but it has been so good for me to learn.

I loved being in Uganda; it was so good waking up each day to do what I was so passionate about and loved so much. Even as I was in Uganda, I was well aware of the struggle it would be to come home. Don't get me wrong, a part of me was happy and thankful to be going home, but the other part of me was deeply saddened. I'm thankful though, even for that sadness, because it's a testimony of all that God allowed me to be a part of for those three months.

 I remember being so blessed during Bible study one day, as Danyal shared about how even a bird in a cage still sings. I remember wanting the Lord to give me a song to sing as I went home. I wanted a joy in my heart and a song that would carry me and sustain me as I went back to the states.

These are words I wrote one day while still in Uganda, as I was reflecting on my time there:
"Lord, thank You for Your goodness. Thank You for how You display Your greatness in my life. Thank You for these months in Uganda. Though my heart is sad and breaks at the thought of leaving in a couple of weeks, I thank You for the time I have had here. I thank You that You've done what I thought was impossible by bringing me here, thank You for giving me so many babies - a goat included. :) Thank You that although You sometimes must take away, You give so much. So many undeserved blessings You have given me, Jesus. While my heart is sad at the thought of leaving, help me to not focus on what is being taken, but on what You've given. Help me not to question Your plan in not allowing me to stay here, but to rejoice in Your goodness in bringing me here at all. Oh Lord, truly You are good. You are my reason to sing. Please be my song, even as I return home. And in the meantime, please help me to rejoice in the day You have made and not worry about tomorrow. This, right here and right now, this moment is a gift You have given me. May I rejoice and be glad in it."

After months of being back, I realize that Jesus answered my prayer. He has indeed become my song. I'm so thankful that the entirety of my life belongs to Jesus, thus I can sing and rejoice every day, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. He is my song; He is my constant. My location and job may change, but He never changes. Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." In the midst of the changes and the uncertainty of life, I find so much comfort and peace in that truth. There is so much comfort in knowing that, even when it feels as though I'm in a cage, not necessarily where I want to be, I can still sing with joy deep in my heart.

The truth of matter is that even though being in Africa brought a deep fulfillment to my heart, Jesus is still the only One who can truly fulfill and satisfy. Though I felt as though I found a place where my heart rejoices and sings, I can't let my heart forget that my reason to sing has always been Jesus. If I let myself mistakenly think that being in Uganda is what fulfills and brings purpose to my life, I will end up disappointed, because only Jesus can fulfill and bring purpose to my days. It is true that I love being there and I am thankful for the fulfillment and purpose I had there, but I must remember that it all comes back to Jesus.

Lately, I've been feeling tired and I guess you could say "burnt out", but I take comfort in knowing that Jesus is my song, even in the dry seasons of life. He is my song even on the days when I have to deliberately choose joy because it does not come easily.

One of my favorite worship songs right now is one that Kutless sings, "King of My Heart". I love these lyrics:

"Let the King of my heart
Be the mountain where I run
The fountain I drink from
Oh He is my song

Let the King of my heart
Be the shadow where I hide
The ransom for my life
Oh He is my song"

Jesus is the fountain I can drink from, the One who can satisfy, refresh, and renew me when I so desperately need it. I think sometimes He takes me through things so that I can once again be reminded of His character. He might take me through days of frustration when joy seems hard, but always He is faithful. As I remember the Lord's great faithfulness to me, I am once again reminded of my many reasons to rejoice. He is my song and my reason to sing. 

"The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation."
~Psalm 118:14