"But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life as dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." ~Acts 20:24
Over the years, this has been one of my favorite Bible verses. It's one that I often go back to, one that I can read again and again, and still find much encouragement.
Right now, at this particular season in my life, I find the most encouragement in the first part of the verse, where Paul declares, "But none of these things move me."
If you look at the context in which he spoke these words, you will see that he had already faced many trials and persecutions, and he knew that the future held more trouble. We're talking intense trials, and yet still somehow he declared, "But none of these things move me." This amazes and humbles me, it encourages and convicts me. I look at my own life and see how easily I am moved. How easily I let little things disrupt my peace, how quickly I am moved when faced with a challenge or struggle.
Being in Uganda has been such an amazing experience, and I'm so grateful to be here. Words can't express my gratitude and praise to God for making the impossible possible for me. I'm so thankful for that, though it has not been without some challenges.
Cultures vary, and thus what is culturally acceptable to say varies from culture to culture. I knew this beforehand, but it still has been something which I have been learning more so as I'm here. Let me just say that it is completely different living here for three months versus coming for less than three weeks. You begin to see and learn things that you simply can't know in a short amount of time. I'm going to be very honest right now and say that some of the things that are deemed culturally acceptable to say I have found to be hurtful. This has been a real struggle for me, but God is using that struggle to teach and refine me. I had read this quote on a day that was especially hard for me:
"At home you can never know what it is to be alone – absolutely alone, amidst thousands, as you can in a Chinese city, without one friend, one companion, everyone looking on you with curiosity, with contempt, with suspicion or with dislike. Thus to learn what it is to be despised and rejected of men – of those you wish to benefit, your motives not understood . . . and then to have the love of Jesus applied to your heart by the Holy Spirit . . . this is worth coming for." ~Hudson Taylor
God's timing is perfect, because on that specific day I found so much encouragement and comfort in those words. It was as if God spoke that directly to my heart.
I found those words to be so very true! Maybe I have not experienced all of what Hudson Taylor said, since I have been blessed with such sweet friendship with fellow missionaries (Thank You, Lord!), but I have really found the rest of those words to be so true. Even the ones you come to serve will sometimes hurt you, and sometimes wound you with words, but Jesus is so gracious to give us His love for them. He doesn't just ask us to love others, He gives us that love. It is worth coming for indeed.
This brings me back to my verse, Acts 20:24. I realize how Paul wasn't moved by the trials and tribulations he faced (which mine are nothing in comparison), and I must confess that I have allowed myself to be moved by the words of others. I have let the words of others have far too much power in my life, I have let them move me when instead I should be standing firm on the rock of God's Word. This makes me think of Psalm 1:1-3:
"Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper."
Oh, how I love God's Word and how He so faithfully speaks to me through it. I realize that it should be His Word, and His Word alone, that moves me, that breaks me, that changes me, not the words of others. I want to be so firmly planted and rooted in His Word that the words of others would have no dominion over me, that I wouldn't be moved by them. Instead, I want to be moved and blessed by the words of my Savior. When I go to His Word, I'm reminded of how great His love for me really is, how He is with me, how He strengthens me, how He is enough, how I'm fearfully and wonderfully made, and that's all that really matters. I want God's Word to be what defines me, not man's.
Paul was not moved by the trials of life, but instead, he counted his life as nothing that he might finish his race with joy. That's how I want to live, not counting my life as dear to myself, but daily giving it in surrender to the Lord's plan and purpose. By God's grace I want to run this race well, and I want to testify to that amazing grace.
What a good God I serve! I'm so thankful for His faithfulness to work in my life, I'm very thankful for the ministry He has called me to here in Uganda, and for all He is teaching me through it. God is faithful!
